Sometimes the rude behaviour or comment of a person might stir up unpleasant feelings within you. Maybe someone teases you because you are still learning how to ride your bicycle or calls you names just to hurt you. Such incidents make you feel sad, angry and even doubt your abilities. It is normal to experience such emotions.
However, you should remember that the way people treat you is very often a reflection of their own doubts, feelings and insecurities. It does not define you or your abilities. People who are frustrated, upset or low on confidence themselves often belittle others to feel better about themselves. They might not know how to ask for help to deal with their feelings, so those feelings erupt and affect others.
This does not mean that their words or behaviour is acceptable. In such situations, you need to set boundaries and communicate to them calmly but firmly. You can say, “I do not like how you treated me. Please don’t repeat it” or “I don’t like being spoken to that way. I would appreciate it if we were more respectful towards each other.” This helps you stand up for yourself while also making them understand what you expect. If you’ve expressed how you feel clearly and they continue the same behaviour, don’t hesitate to get help from a trusted grown-up, or even cut off from them completely, if nothing else helps.
When people set boundaries to protect themselves, it teaches unkind people that their behaviour is unacceptable. And just like you would expect people to respect your boundaries, it is important that you respect theirs too. This promotes compassion and empathy.
